Posted by: Molly | March 12, 2010

big surprise!

More for hubby than me!  The TV was delivered this afternoon and  I can’t wait till he gets home.  It is way too heavy for me to move our old big box out and the new one is heavy too even though it’s flat.  I’m so nervous I hope he likes it.   The cute part is it came with a freebie 19 inch HDTV and it appears that it might fit perfectly in the kitchen.  I love being in the kitchen and it would be nice to have something to watch when I ‘m cooking dinner or cleaning.  bonus.

On the baby front I really don’t feel like I’m in a cycle.  Oblivious?  Maybe.  Disconected describes it well.  I just don’t feel it.  Might be that I’m only having one shot every few days and daily meds that are not shots.  It feels sort of freeing, but in a way sad because I’m not the one growing the eggs.  I heard yesterday that my cousin is trying to have a baby.  Made me tear up to think her baby might look like her.  But then again I need to keep this in perspective my sister’s kids don’t look that much like them.  I do love them dearly too and would take them home in a heartbeat if I could so it’s not a matter of being able to love them – I do love them and will love my own children as well. 

So as for my egg fairy she started stims this week and will be going for a check early next week.  I can’t wait to hear the results!  It’s almost like cheering on a fellow IVF’er, but I get the eggs in the end.  Maybe the wrong way to think about it, but I am just feeling disconnected from it all.  The transfer will be the moment of truth.  They are mine then.  Mine, mine, mine.

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Responses

  1. Yep totally get the feeling of being disconnected. I think once they are actually embryos and they’re safely tucked away that they’ll feel more like yours. (at least that’s what i’m hoping for). Keep us posted on the progress your egg fairy makes.

  2. I’m here feeling disconnected too. They’re out there somewhere, doing for us what we can’t do for ourselves. The connection will come soon enough… I’m waiting too.

  3. Of course you’ll love your own children. You’ll be the one making sure that they’re comfortable in your cosy womb and you’ll be doing all the looking after them and nurturing them. They’ll be yours alright 🙂
    Hope your egg fairy is doing ok.
    xxxx

  4. thanks ladies! it’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this!

  5. Aaa I’m Jealous of your new TV!!! we have one of those big boxy ones that with all its bigness I can still hardy see whats on it.. I’m jonesing for a nice big flat screen.. we don’t even have TV service, but we watch a ton of movies and disc’s of shows.
    I’m in my first cycle now..
    I’ve been feeling that pang of pain about peoples bio kids looking like them too.. I keep seeing a child that looks like me in my minds eye.. its like she visits me, and I feel sad. I’m also very excited about who and what my potential DE child will be.. its all such a great mystery.


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